CCG Ghoul Investigator Flashlight (TM)
by Talented but Lazy
Summary: One teeny tiny detail changes the ending of Tokyo ghoul. Spoilers ahoy.


'Kaneki?' A familiar voice echoed through the underground tunnel which was also a sewer. Kaneki turned around, expecting another horrifying vision to attack him. 'H-hide?' it couldn't be him, could it?

He heard splashing behind him and in no time he was facing his best friend.

Hide crouched so he could be on Kaneki's level and put a hand on his shoulder. 'Hide can't be here... he'll know...' Kaneki rasped.

'I already knew, man, ' Hide said, smiling warmly. 'Let's go home.'

'Hide, you should go, I don't know if...'

'They've barricaded this whole place, though, I'm not sure how we'll get out. ' Hide continued, not paying him attention. Wait, _"we"_?! 'Wha-'

'Hmmm well, I guess there's no other way.' Hide said and stood up.

Something appeared behind Hide's back and soon Kaneki saw two tendrils forming from his back, wrapping around each other like vines.

Kaneki stared, too shocked to even move. Hide's left eye looked normal, the right one however...

'As you see, I haven't been sitting on my ass after you disappeared...' he chuckled mirthlessly. 'Any way, let's get out of here.'

Hide crouched down to Kaneki. 'Woah, you've packed on a few pounds since last time, haven't you?' He teased as he picked him up.

'Sh-shut up...' Kaneki found it harder to concentrate on his surroundings. The world around him was fizzy and getting even darker than it was. The last thing he saw before passing out was Hide's kagune becoming strangely dark and that he was being carried towards a wall.

* * *

Arima stood in the midst of a pile of bodies. He was always so quiet and mysterious that nobody could ever find out that he was actually very fond of being a drama king. There was nothing quite like setting up the scene before a battle, although rarely did a real challenge appear.

Freshly killed bodies lain around in the perfect showdown scene, and his opponent wasn't appearing.

This was the only way from him to continue, Arima was sure of that. So why wasn't he coming?!

The elite ghoul investigator frowned and headed towards where his victim- er, **opponent,** was supposed to be.

He could barely contain his surprise when he saw a gaping hole on the _impenetrable_ wall of the place. Arima took out a special CCG Ghoul Investigator Flashlight TM and checked around the hole, but it was about two metres deep. Frowning even harder, Arima retracted the CCG Ghoul Investigator Flashlight TM and headed back to the surface, where he was more needed.

_At least the Owl wouldn't run away from a fight,_ he thought bitterly, unaware of how wrong he was.

* * *

When Kaneki woke up, the first thing that got his attention was the lack of a giant hole in his side although a lack of a hole is probably an oxymoron. The second thing he noticed was the sweet taste of blood in his mouth.

He shot up when he remembered that he had last seen Hide in that... sewer... Except he wasn't in a sewer, he was in a comfortable bed.

His stirring brought one of the chairs in the room back to life... except the chair was actually Hide, who had fallen asleep.

'You're awake! And it's only been a few hours. I thought you'd be out for days.' Hide continued rambling but Kaneki just stared at him vacantly for a few moments before snapping out of it and asking, 'Am I in Heaven?'

'Leave the flirting for later-'

No, I mean... Am I not dead? I was in a sewer, then hallucinated and saw you... and you had a kagune and kakugan? And now I'm suddenly here... But you can't have... You're a human, right?'

'Not anymore...' Hide smiled kind of sadly and revealed his black right eye.

'Wha-'

'It's a long story for another time... The short version is, I'm the same as you now. Well, without that weird mask.'

'Uh...' Kaneki rubbed his temple. This was too much. 'Where are we now?'

'Somewhere outside Tokyo, I'm not entirely sure. Once you get well enough we are going.'

'Where?'

'Dunno yet, but far away from here for sure. How's your English?'

'Kind of rusty...'

'Nevermind, we'll manage.'

There was a brief silence before Kaneki asked quietly, 'Did you do that... for me?'

'In short?' Kaneki nodded. 'Yeah, mostly.'

Two equally strong feelings fought in Kaneki. One was a surge of immense gratefulness that his best friend would go to such lengths for him. The other was a boiling anger that his best friend would do something so stupid as throw away his humanity for him. As the two emotions were stuck in a stalemate, he remained silent.

'Oh, wait. I forgot I have to do one more thing.' Hide said as he got up and headed for the door. 'I'll be back in a bit.'

Kaneki nodded.

In the end, gratitude won.

When they passed the border a few days later, Kaneki promised himself he'd do all he could to make sure Hide's sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

* * *

An anonymous informant (who sounded suspiciously familiar) told the CCG of the whereabouts of Dr Kanou. A raid was organised and dispensed as soon as resources allowed. The captured CCG members were freed and the inhuman facility was put down once and for all.

Amon Koutarou, Takizawa Seidou, and all other ghoul investigators were retrieved alive, but not entirely human.

The CCG is still conducting research on reverting artificial half-ghouls back into humans to this day, with no results.

* * *

Hide and Kaneki ran away to Canada, where they took on new identities and started a new life together. Their wedding is going to be next spring.

* * *

Arima never lived down the missed battle with Centipede and quit the CCG to devote his life to exterminating centipede infestations.

* * *

Dr Kanou is currently serving 143 years of a heavily guarded prison for crimes against humanity and illegal experiments on humans.

* * *

A little known scientist elsewhere in Japan found out the formula to extending the natural lifespan of humans.

The CCG is currently undergoing negotiations with said scientist to test the formula on a certain inhumane doctor, so he could 'live out his whole sentence'.

* * *

Touka Kirishima became an excellent biologist and is working hard to discover the origin of ghouls and how they evolved to be so different from humans.

Incidentally, she discovered that the only human food ghouls can eat is WcDonalds. She is currently torn between keeping it a secret so ghouls who cannot hunt can have a food source, and conducting further research on why exactly it is edible.

* * *

Tsukiyama still mourns Kaneki with no prospect of getting better.

* * *

Eto was never seen again, although there is a suspiciously talented young author gaining popularity in Eastern Europe.

* * *

Pierrot were, in fact, the last ones to laugh.

* * *

_I wrote this at 4 am based on a weird dream I had. It's more of a cracky sort of fix it fic than anything._

_Now with 90% less typos and bad phrasing._

_Edit 08/03: Oh my god so the theory that at least Takizawa was turned into a half-ghoul by Kanou was correct. Hopefully this fic was also right that Hide and Kaneki will finally be safe. _


End file.
